Eggnog
So this is Christmas. This is probably the first year ever that I haven’t found my Christmas Spirit. I have been thinking about it and trying to figure out where it so I can go find it.
Here’s the deal, I’m not a Christian, I grew up celebrating Christmas because my Dad is Catholic, so for me the holiday always meant family more than anything. I have respect for the holiday itself, and what it signifies to those who believe. Generally my Christmas spirit comes to me by the first of December. I was a little worried when it didn’t show up, but had high hopes there was still time. The days went on, the shopping didn’t get done, the lights didn’t go up, the cookies didn’t get baked, and I’m wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I acknowledge that my Christmas spirit definitely has waned since my Mom passed away, but it has still always come… until this year. So I sit and I think and I wonder what it could be.
Really nothing has changed, sure I’m a bit busier, I have had a cold, I’ve been tired, but here’s the the discovery that I have made. I am so saddened by what this HOLYday has become. Yes, I said it, it is supposed to be a Holy Day. What has happened to us? I see so many posts about people being pissed off because they can’t say Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays and their so worried about this and that. That it’s their country and they shouldn’t have to worry about offending anyone so they should be able to say Merry Christmas, and people should have respect and only say Happy Holidays. I am SO tired of this crap! Say whatever the hell you want to say, and stop complaining about it and hating on the people who don’t celebrate your chosen holiday, whatever holiday that may be (if you even celebrate a holiday).
We spend so much time harping on how much we disagree with another’s religion or political beliefs that we have completely screwed this holiday season up. We spend more time posting about how upset we are because we couldn’t get the gifts we wanted to get. In the meantime, because we have forgotten what this holiday is truly about, and we are a country who can’t go a day without shopping, that all the stores are advertising they are open on Christmas. Like this is a good thing? The almighty dollar has become more important than our celebration of this day or the time that we could be spending with our families.
I am truly saddened by what we have come to. I say it often, but am feeling it so much during this holiday season that it hurts. Our troops are STILL across the world fighting, there are STILL people who have no homes and no food, there are STILL people dying of Cancer and of AIDs, there are STILL people dying at the hands of their husbands, their wives, and their parents, and all we can think about is how offended we are about not being allowed to offend other people? For the love of G-d, be grateful and feel blessed if that is truly the biggest thing you have to worry about. Do you even know how blessed you are?
Tonight, as I write this, I pray that one day each of us can see beyond our difference and love others through them. Tonight, as I write this, I pull my Christmas spirit out of a box and thank God that I am blessed enough to be able to spend tomorrow with my loved ones, blessed enough to have a hearty meal to share, blessed enough to be loved by my family because I am different. Tonight, as I write this, I look up to heaven and say Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to my mother.
Tonight, as I write this, I pray for each of you to have a blessed day, regardless of your beliefs or traditions.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever floats your boat.
Blessings.
Nutmeg
Yes November is here, bring on the Holidays. The Holidays bring back so many things with them right? The flavors of fall and winter, which I am SO not a fan of, memories of family and traditions, the spirit of the holidays. Gratitude often gleams starting in November when people begin to post what they are grateful for, then the excitement of Black Friday…. or the Angst of Black Friday if you are someone like me. Then comes December preparing for Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa. (Granted the Christmas stuff came out in September this year, so some are way ahead of others).
This is where it all begins, the commercials about toys and video games. All the stores offering Lay-away again because 9.1% of our country is unemployed, while probably closer to 50% are barely covering their living expenses. No one wants to disappoint the kids, so they hit the sales on the craziest day of the year, only to trample other people or the be one trampled for a toy or game that will be out-dated within 6 months. You hit a store for your basic staples only to be pushed because people are in a rush, and angry that they are in a rush, and you check out with the cashier who clearly hates their job and just wants to yell at you for some reason. Then you have the retail reps who have to say Happy Holidays, because God forbid they tell the wrong person Merry Christmas and get yelled at by that person, when really truly they are just trying to be in the spirit of the holidays.
What the hell has happened to our country. Every day you hear more and more people saying how pissed off they are because kids can’t pray in school or say anything about God, yet some of those people are the very one’s who have clearly forgotten what Christmas is about or any other Holiday is about.
Before I go further, quick background. While I was not raised with religion growing up, culturally speaking I’m Jewish. We celebrated Christmas because my Dad is Catholic. If you ask me what my religion is I will tell you that I am against organized religion, but I’m more Jewish than anything mostly because I guess I don’t consider Jesus as my savior. (Oh boy this blog could cause some major controversy) That being said, when I walk into a store, meet a stranger on the street, a friend or a co-worker I am happy to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Blessed Kwanzaa. More importantly, when I go somewhere and someone actually takes the time to greet me with any of the above, I’m HAPPY just to be greeted. I don’t care how they say it. As a Jewish person, how could I possibly be offended by someone wishing me a Merry Christmas? In today’s age when people can’t even take the time to say “Thank You” when you hold the door open, I am beyond grateful to take what I can get.
Now, back to the issue at hand. Whatever “religion” you claim to be, if you are going to claim that “religion” passionately let’s remember what these holidays are about. Christmas = the “day” Jesus was born. Hello? This is your Lord and Savior and you’re more focused on tackling people in the mall for a tickle me elmo? It’s Jesus’ birthday! CELEBRATE!! Hanukkah = the celebration of the dedication of the temple and the miracle of one day’s worth purifying oil lasted 8 days. Kwanzaa = a weeklong celebration held to honor African-American heritage and culture. Oh look, another celebration!
So the question is this, how can SO many celebrations cause so much anger, hatred and cruelty? For me, these holidays are a blessing because they are time that I can spend with my family. Not one of us is guaranteed another day on this earth, is it really worth fighting about whose religion is right or whose rituals are more important.
My point of view is this, an yes this is bound to be my most controversial blog ever, but here it goes. Have some freaking respect for other people. Be grateful that someone is actually taking time out of their day to greet you, regardless of whether or not it’s a holiday you celebrate. Someone say’s Merry Christmas, and your Jewish, say “thank you, Happy Hanukkah”. Rather we should rather stew and be mad that someone had the audacity to give you a warm greeting without reading your mind and knowing what holiday you choose to celebrate? Come on, we have bigger problems. We have the fact that kids today have no idea what these holidays even mean except that thy will get presents. They wake up looking for Santa, or the Holiday Armadillo, how many kids even know what these holidays are about other than 8 days of gifts, Santa, and the freaking Easter Bunny. And what about family? For me personally, the holidays are about taking the time to spend with my family. I’m blessed and grateful that I am not forced to feel like I need to go spend money I don’t have to buy gifts, that simply going over to my Dad’s in my pajamas and sitting on his floor and having a nice family dinner is enough for me.
I’m not trying to ream on anyone. There are plenty of people who love Christmas and everything it is TRULY about. There are tons of people who appreciate any greeting they get during the holidays, even if they don’t celebrate any at all. I mean really, think about Jehovah’s Witnesses, they don’t celebrate ANY of these holidays and have to be subjected to all the holiday stuff for a minimum of 3 months. I think we should just take a moment to look outside OUR SELVES for once and realize there are other people out there that don’t necessary believe the things that we do, or that don’t believe anything at all. It isn’t up to you or me to decide if that’s right or wrong, just give people the same respect that you wish for yourselves. In the end, we are ALL humans – right, wrong or otherwise, it isn’t for you to decide. I know for me, personally, I would just love for people not to be so mean during these months.
On that note…. HAPPY HOLIDAYS or to those who don’t celebrate any of these holidays, Happy November!!
PS – In case you were wondering, this blog is called Nutmeg because it is such a popular “fall flavor” and I despise it. 
But I’m happy that so many people are happy that the Pumpkin Spice Latte with all its nutmeg is back at Starbucks. That drink really does make a lot of people happy.
Expectations
I was having a brief conversation earlier with a very good friend of mine about the fact that we both have “high expectations of people.” (We’re both Virgos, so it’s very much a trait of ours naturally). I’m not going to go all into expectations in general, but I do feel the need to discus expectations of how we are treated. Now, I personally don’t think I do have high expectations of other people, nor do I think I should ever have to lower my expectations (even thought I believe we all tend to all too often) I expect people to be kind to others, honest, straight-forward, respectful, to communicate with me and most importantly do what they say they are going to do. Really, I am an extremely easy person to please, and those little things bring a smile to my face.
For example, I think that someone telling you that they are going to call you means that they should call you, or at least text you. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask, even for a text to say, hey, I’m really busy, I’ll call you when I can. That took a whole what, 5 seconds? People not doing what they say they are going to do has been something that has really bothered me for a long time. I think it shows a complete lack of respect for the other person. I do believe that there are absolutely times where things come up. For example (and this is just an example), you make tentative plans with someone one day around 12:00. The day comes and you haven’t heard anything, so you send a text, “hey, are we still going to do….(whatever your plans were)?” and they don’t respond. Uh….HELLO? The problem here isn’t that the person couldn’t make it, the problem here is that they person couldn’t pick up the phone and call, or text, or send an email, or a facebook message…I mean come on, it’s 2010 there are 500 million ways to communicate with someone, without even having to talk to them. So that’s a high expectation? I should lower my expectation, so I get worse results the next time? I think not!
They say “Expect the worst, and hope for the best.” I used to do that, and now I worry that if I am expecting bad things, bad things will happen (it’s the whole putting positive things out to the Universe thing), but if I expect people to meet my expectations, and they don’t, I end up hurt. It’s a huge catch 22.
I think that if you truly respect yourself, you should have high expectations of how people treat you. If you don’t, you’re settling for less than you deserve. The trick is having those high expectations, and if someone disappoints, you don’t allow them to do it again. Settling for less than we deserve is not what we are put on this earth to do, especially when it comes to how people treat us.
By not doing what you say you are going to do is discounting the other person’s feelings, disrespectful of their feelings, and quite honestly showing the person that you think they are unimportant. You are also setting the expectation for that person to think that you are unreliable and that you will probably fail them again…. Especially someone who isn’t very trusting to begin with. Again, life happens, but that’s what communication is for. It’s one thing to not be able to do something you said you were going to do, it’s just inexcusable to not take the time to tell them you aren’t going to follow through.
There you have it. I know that I only covered one little thing about the things we expect, but I truly believe that if you begin lowering your expectations of people, people will continue think they have to do less to meet your expectations. That’s just my take on it. . . Do what you say you are going to do, and if you aren’t able, have some respect and tell the other people involved.
What A Day . . . Religion
So I actually have 2 things to write about, because of a very intense last hour I have had. I’ve decided I will write about this one first since I am SO angry about it. I like to say that most of the things I will blog about are deeply thought through and reflected upon. However, I will advise now, that today’s post as well as tomorrows are going to be based off strict emotion and nothing more. I will also advise that I rarely talk religion, but, well I have SO much inside me right now it’s going to have to come out. . . So Here goes.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an extremely spiritual person. A small background is that my mother was raised Jewish, Hebrew school and all. My biological father is also Jewish, born in Germany right after the holocaust. That being said, I was not raised with religion. My mother studied Judaism when she was a kid, and the bible as she grew into adulthood. She raised us to believe in God, and be good people, to treat people with respect, to pray every day and that we didn’t need to go to church in order to have a relationship with God. She always wanted us to find our own spiritual path, which I respect so much. I have done my best to live my life in that way. I pray every day, more than once a day. I thank God for all of my blessings, and pray that I will be forgiven for my sins, and I like to believe that I am a fairly selfless person who treats all other people with respect and kindness.
I actually study all faiths quite heavily, as it is something that really speaks to me. That being said, I don’t find the need to classify myself by claiming I am one “religion” or another. The fact is that I believe in possibilities, and my personal choice is not to limit myself, but search for answers every day of my life. Now please don’t misunderstand me, I have respect for all faiths, and all religions, and find it a blessing in this day in age for people to believe in something.
I could never claim that I am perfect, or anywhere near perfect. But I will say that I do believe that I am a good person. I ask myself often ask myself how what I am doing or saying look in the eyes of God. I would venture to say that I am more “Christian” than a lot of people I know who say they are Christian, because being a Christian is so much more than just saying that you are Christian. (If that makes ANY sense).
Moving on, and trying to wrap this rant up. No one, I mean NO ONE has the right to judge me or anyone else for their beliefs, and I truly believe that if you claim to be “religious” and you are judging other people based on that, or anything else for that matter, then you need to take a deep hard look at what you SAY your faith or religion is. Because us, as humans, have absolutely no right to judge other people. That’s God’s job.
So where is this all coming from, you ask? Well I won’t go into the very long and absurd details, but I was just texted by someone I have never met, who said to me “Ok, well I know you are into astrology, and we are Christian…..” Um, yeah. First off, you don’t know me, second off, I’m quite sure you just attacked my faith, third off, what kind of Christian are you to judge me”. There are so many things wrong with that text, that it’s actually blowing my mind! BLOWING MY MIND! My mission, and my purpose in life is to help and heal people, and now I am not even being attacked by someone who knows me, and my heart, but someone who doesn’t. I won’t go into the rest of the conversation in the text. I will only say, think about what you say to people for God’s sake. Before you start judging other people, make sure you are taking a look at yourself, and that you are living the path that your God laid out for you.
I’m beyond emotion right now, so I will leave it here. I truly hope that I haven’t offended anyone with the religion talk. But honestly, if you know me, you do know that I respect all faiths, and if you got anything other than that from this post, it was certainly not my intention.
“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” Matthew 7:1-3
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