Intentions

Competing with Myself

A competing commitment is what stops us from doing the things we say we want to do, or having the things we want to have.  Every day, there are things we say we want, but based on our actions, we see there is something we want more.  For example, I could say that I want to lose 100 pounds, but clearly, based on results, I would rather eat carbs in excessive amounts.  Now, I’m using that as an example, only because I think it’s pretty easy for most people to understand, and likely relate to.  These things come up in our lives all the time, and if we look closely, we can see the fight inside our own minds, or worse, you never see it.

So what happens, when it feels like these Competing Commitments take over, and it feels like your competing with your own self.  Where do you begin, when there are so many things that you SAY you want for yourself, but you like the decisions that you unconsciously, or likely, subconsciously make sabotage those things?  Sometimes I think that once you hit adulthood you turn on autopilot and do the things you “have” to do to make it through life, and then all of the sudden, years down the road you realize that nothing that you are doing is what you want to do or think that you should be doing, but have to in order to survive.  I often wonder how many people just wake up one morning and ask themselves how they got where they are, and at what age they wake up to that question.

What is it that stops us, once we realize that we aren’t the people we want to be, or living the lives we think we should be, from making the changes necessary to move toward that goal?  Is it fear, fear because, even though we may not be where we want to be, at least we know what to expect, and although we may not be completely happy, at least we’re comfortable?  Is it fear that when we become the person we think we are meant to be, or make the changes we need to make, that people will think differently of us?  Do we search and search and search for the path we are meant to be on, only to come across a rock in the path and turn around?

I believe that we all come to a crossroads at some point in our life, maybe more than one.  The question is, do we move forward on our current path, or decide to turn down a different one.  And if we choose to turn down a different path, will we be leaving people behind, or will they walk that walk with us (or at least visit us every now and then)?

Life is a bunch of questions, obviously.  Clearly, I am at one of those crossroads, in so many aspects of my life.  I can say honestly, that although it is exciting in a way, at many points the fear is overwhelming, and the doubt takes over, and it kind of feels like every time I make it through one of the impasses, another once comes along just a few steps away.  And really…. I just wonder what my Mom’s words of wisdom would reveal.

Do or Do Not….There is No Try

Yoda was a wise little green guy.  I have made a conscious effort to remove the word “try” from my vocabulary.  In fact when I notice someone else say it, I question them about it.

When you set out to do something, you just need to do it.  If it is your true intention to do what you say you are going to do, you will do it.  It’s really not a difficult concept to get, however, so many of us “try” every day.

Just a few minutes ago I had a conversation with someone I care about tremendously.  In a discussion about some things in our friendship, he said (multiple times), “well I’ll try” and “I’ll try not to”.  Right away I brought that to his attention, and I actually said to him, “well if you want that to happen, who do you have to try?” His response was so interesting to me, and what I feel so many people think about when they have “intentions” of doing or not doing something.  Of course, this made me ask him that very thing….If that is TRULY what you want, why would you have to “try”?  His response to me was this…”well I don’t like to make promises that I can’t keep or say I’m going to do something that I may not do.”  Um, helloooooo, doesn’t that statement right there tell me that it is NOT your true intention to keep that promise?  By saying, “I’ll try”, aren’t you just giving yourself an out.  I mean, we figure if we set out to do something, and say “I’ll try” doesn’t that just really mean that other things may get in your way, that you are willing to ALLOW something or someone else to get in the way?

I’m about to take it to another level…..It’s one thing when we tell someone else “I’ll try”.  Risking the opportunity to let someone else down, and give yourself an out, so you tell yourself that you can’t technically be held responsible for it not happening.  What about when there is something you truly desire?  You tell yourself that you will try, knowing that if you fail you can say that you tried and give up.  How does that serve you?  Trying and giving up, trying and giving up.  Where has that brought you in your own life?  When you truly desire something, and your intention is clear, there is no need to try, you just do it, you will do whatever you need to do to make that thing happen.  Is that what you deserve?

For those of you who continually tell yourself, and someone you care about that you will “try”,  you need to know that you are not serving yourself, or the people that you supposedly care about.  If you are worried about “not being able to follow through” then you have to recognize that whatever that thing was, was not your true intention. (It’s important to know that something not being your true intention is actually ok….as long as your honest with yourself about it.)

Do what you say you are going to do, do what you want to do, stop trying. Trying is just a word that means absolutely nothing to anyone.  Eventually, others will begin to realize that when you say “I’ll try” that you probably have no intention of following through on your word anyway.

No matter what you say you want, you don’t need to try, you just need to do. Empty promises to other, and to yourself serve absolutely no one.