Beauty & Gratitude
So it seems I have a few things to talk about today. Usually I like to break topics up, but the more I think about it the more I feel like my two topics are related in some way.
I’d like to start with being blessed today by Ms. Vikki Colvin of For A Moment Photography. A few months ago I was talking to my partner Mark about how I need to get a head-shot and how I had never had professional photos done. He talked to Vikki and just before I left from Mexico she emailed me and let me know that she was available today. Even more exciting is that Vikki had arranged for the very talented Suzy Lavenda to take care of my makeup. Oh how excited and nervous I was. I’m not generally comfortable having photos taken of me, much because of my own personal body image issues.
So today I brought a couple of outfits and Suzy did my makeup. Vikki and I then proceeded to different locations to take some photos. Aside from the fact that I’m so grateful for some bonding time with her, Vikki is so amazingly talented. She had shown me a picture on the camera before I left and I thought, wow she truly made me feel beautiful. I feel like she found an angle of me that isn’t often seen. . . or shown. Then, when she completed a couple of the photos and posted them on facebook, I was floored by the responses from my facebook friends. Granted, much of the credit goes to Vikki and Suzy, but for the first time in many many years I truly felt beautiful. For the first time in many years, my focus didn’t go straight to how “fat” I look. For the first time ever I saw beyond my weight, and based on the responses I feel like my friends did too. I’m so thankful to these special people for not only giving me the gift of professional photos, but a boost in my self-esteem that was much needed.
Which is all a very nice bridge into my next topic. Generally speaking I am a fairly non-emotional person. Or more accurately, I do not show my emotions around others. Recently, I have found that many different things, words and events have brought tears to my eyes. The interesting thing is that it hasn’t been sad things, but positive events and words that have caused this. I was thinking my hormones were totally out of whack… until today. I had been talking to Mark about this earlier, and what I realized the more I thought about it is that I believe that it is the immense gratitude I have been feeling that has caused the emotion. I have been truly blessed, particularly this year with some extremely wonderful relationships, business changes, and life in general. I believe that my emotion truly is an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I notice more and more every day the “little” things that happen in my life and I notice more and more how grateful I am to have the life I have.
I am so grateful to all of the people in my life who support me. Thank you for enriching my life so fully!
Blessings….
A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime
I’ve always been a believer that people come into, and leave from our lives for a reason. Last year I posted a blog about the closing of a Chapter (click here to read). It really was a goodbye to my Group 46:10 family, a new season was starting.
By no means have any of my Group 46:10 family left my life. I’m quite grateful and blessed that I still get to see my boys often, and have an occasional lunch with my Group 46:10 kids. I learned so much from each of those people, and as I have said before, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt they impacted my life in ways I could never even describe. In January a new season started, and new reasons arose. New people came into my life, and some people I had to let go of. This is the natural order of life in my opinion. God brings different people into our lives at the times we need them. Sometimes those people are taken out of our lives, also for a reason.
I am very blessed, in that so many people have come into my life this year. While I already knew many of the people, some became more influential, some became closer friends, some became family. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would just like to take a moment to mention some of these “new” people. Some who I work with, some who I have met through school. All who have truly touched my life this year.
First and foremost, Mark McIntyre. You were thrown into a funky situation this year when your team dynamic changed and I offered up my services to you. You didn’t blink an eye, you made me a member of your team without me officially being a member of your team. You fully trust my abilities and more than anything have become so much more than a friend. I’m grateful that beyond support my schooling, that you have faith in my abilities as a Transaction Manager, that you had complete faith that I could take over Short Sale Negotiations, that you and I are so on the same page, that you actually enjoy hearing what I learned in class, that you took the time to come to my family birthday dinner this year, that you let me vent, and let me cry and mostly for our heart hugs. I love you, and am SO beyond grateful for you in so many ways.
Mr. Bob O, I am so grateful that you keep me so busy. I’m grateful that you prefer to talk on the phone rather than text, that you became an Apple junkie like 24 hours, that you share what you learn in iPad classes, that you trust in my abilities, that we laugh together ALOT, and that you know and accept that your transactions are going to be trouble…and that you hopefully know they are trouble because someone, somewhere knows you can handle it, and provide the absolute best customer service to your clients.
Josh Gaymen, I adore you! I’m grateful that we have had the opportunity to get to know each other, and that we are so like-minded. I’m grateful that you see the value in what I do, I’m grateful for your spirit, and I’m grateful that you are an amazing Dad and that your family comes first. Don’t ever let that change.
Jaci Mitchell, I’m grateful that we complete each other. No really we do, since you started we have finished each other’s sentences. Your attitude is amazing and I love you more than I thought I could. Pam, I’m grateful that you came to our office. I’m grateful for your smile and for allowing me to be a giant pain in the bum as often as I can. 
(It’s a two-way street after all). Amanda, I’m so beyond grateful for your attitude. You are always smiling and you light up a room. Mike Menefee, I’m grateful you finally gave in. Oskar J, I’m grateful you gave in too, but I think I’m more grateful for the hugs you give me every time you are in the office. Ms. Uzi, I’m grateful that you and I are so like-minded and that we’re going to run for office together.
A few people I have met in school…. Ann, Krysten and Jerica, you truly inspire me to be a better person. Billie, I’m so happy to have you as a partner in a few classes. I love chatting with you. Cody, I’m grateful for you for so many reasons. We don’t talk a lot, but you remind me of what it’s like to be young, most importantly your vulnerability and your spirit warm my heart. You have such an amazing soul I can’t even put it into words.
I’m not trying to leave people out. These are just some of the people who have entered into my life this season and who have already left a mark on my heart. I’m truly grateful for every single person in my life. I’m grateful still to Kevin & Fred for teaching me the short sale business, for helping me to grow as a person, for continuing to support me and praying for me when I need it most, and for loving me. I have said it before, I would where I am today if I hadn’t met you boys. To all of my other friends, who mean so much to me, I hope you know who you are. I’m beyond grateful for each and every one of you. My sisters, I can’t even go there, I believe you know how much you mean to me, and that I would be nothing without you both. And to the people who have left, or have been removed from my life this year…thank you for having been in my life, and helping me to learn the lessons that I needed to learn at the time.
We often remember to be grateful for the “things”. Things can be replaced, people can’t. Don’t ever take them for granted. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Thank you for your support, thank you for reading my blog.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life
What is it about these holidays?
As I sat down to right this I realized I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about. Then, I decided that since Thanksgiving is coming up, I should write about gratitude.
Sometimes I get frustrated that often it takes Thanksgiving for many people to express their gratitude, and I think that’s a shame. It’s similar to Veterans’ Day, while I think it’s great that Veteran’s Day is a holiday, why does it take that one day for people to thank the people who have served our country? Shouldn’t we be thanking them every day? They fight every day….and every night.
Anyway, I digress… back to Thanksgiving. It started a few days ago….people posting on their Facebook statuses all the things they are grateful for, and again, I am not criticizing people for showing or expressing their gratitude. However, I do think it’s kind of a shame that it takes a holiday for people to express gratitude.
According to Wikipedia Thanksgiving is:
“Thanksgiving Day, known informally as “Turkey Day,” is a harvest festival celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Thanksgiving was a holiday to express thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation to God, family and friends for which all have been blessed of material possessions and relationships. Traditionally, it has been a time to give thanks for a bountiful harvest.”
So, to clarify, I am not discounting Thanksgiving nor the idea behind it. However, is showing appreciation to God, Family and Friends one day a year really sufficient? Do we really need a holiday to drop to your knees and thank God (or whatever/whoever you believe in) for our MANY blessings. Because really, isn’t just waking up in the morning a blessing? Is thanking our family for supporting us throughout our life, on one day really enough? Is thanking our friends once a year for being our designated driver, or our shoulder to cry on the best that we can do? Have we become so wrapped up in our own life, and things that we have forgotten that we have someone to be grateful to for providing us with our life and the things that we have? Why is it that it takes the holiday season to say “Thank You” to someone for opening the door for you? Do we really need to be in the holiday spirit to hold the door open? Come on… And how about looking at ourself in the mirror and saying thank you? As a society, we don’t just take other people or possessions for granted, we take ourselves for granted to. We take our bodies, which most of us abuse on a daily basis, for granted more than anything. We feed them with alcohol, drugs, processed foods and chemicals, yet we don’t think about everything our bodies do for us…our heart beating for example.
I bet if we closed our eyes and thought about it we could very quickly think of 10 things we are grateful for EVERY day of the year. In the spirit of that challenge here are 10 things I am grateful for TODAY.
1. Waking up this morning
2. My cat and dog for showing me love by being cuddled up with me when I woke up this morning.d
3. The beautiful sunrise
4. The cooler weather
5. The hundreds of birds in the tree in front of my neighbors house that I hear every morning as I am getting in my car.
6. My starbucks friends for having started both mine and Kevin’s drinks so they were ready to go by the time I paid.
7. David Baird giving me a note that said I am appreciated
8. Derrik coming into my office at 4:07 and asking me what I was still doing at the office (which reminded me to leave)
9. Fred challenging me on my way of thinking.
10. Archangel Michael for helping me to maintain my positive energy (and Jamie’s too!)
11. My home, because every time I walk in the door I feel happy and blessed.
12. Jax for greeting me at the door and climbing up my leg to say hello.
13. Reese for laying on her back and giving me her belly.
Ok, well that’s 13, whatever. The point is, that if every day, we could just slow down and take 5 minutes to reflect on what we are really grateful for, I think we would be that much more grateful EVERY day.
“Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!”
“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears”
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
This I Believe. . .
For my public speaking class I had to write a speech about something I believe. NPR has a program where people share the personal philosophies and core values that guide their daily lives, so our speech was based on that. At first I didn’t know what to write about, but when I sat down in front of the computer it just all flew out of me without thinkin, and I’m basically going with the first draft. After the words came out, there were very few things that I changed. (even my punctuation and grammar is off, but since it’s a speech, I’m okay with it.)
Tomorrow I will have the opportunity to present this speech for a group of students in my class, and of course, not liking public speaking, I’m getting more and more nervous.
In all honesty, I debated long and hard on posting this, as it is probably the most personal you will ever see me get. However, after reading it a few times, I felt that it is not only a tribute to life’s experiences, but a tribute to my mother as well. Take what you will from it.
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I Believe I Learned Absolutely Everything I Ever Need to Know About Life From My Mother.
In my 33 years on this earth, I have had the opportunity to see so many aspects of life…many things a person probably never should see, many things a person should never have to experience.
Spending much of my childhood in a violently abusive home, I learned that some parents don’t always love their children the way they should. Watching my mother sneak out of the house to learn to drive, saving every penny she could and gaining the strength to take my sisters and myself and leave, I learned the strength of a woman is beyond measure. . .and that for some parents only death could stop them from protecting their child.
Living in a tiny 2-bedroom apartment with no furniture, eating peanut butter sandwiches on the floor with my sisters I learned that we don’t need fine food, furniture and possessions to have fun and feel love.
Watching my mother marry a man with no biological children, and no opportunity have any of his own, enabled me to see what a man should be. Experiencing that same man love, cherish and take care of my mother … and her 3 damaged daughters taught me what a father should be.
My mother forcing us to eat dinner EVERY night with our family, AT the table taught me the importance of communication and family.
Remembering my mother being locked in her room for a week and raped by my biological father…as I too laid on the floor with a gun held to my head by a boyfriend the night I broke up with him taught me how we often tend to repeat history, and that only I could break that cycle.
Having a miscarriage at 20 taught me that nothing is promised…5 years later thinking about that miscarriage and the dysfunctional relationship I was in at the time, I understood what my mother meant when she always said that everything happens for a reason.
Listening to my mother explain to me that my biological father was a sick and lonely man, and should not be hated, taught me forgiveness.
By constantly reminding me to say “Thank You” and “I love you” she taught me to never take people for granted.
Losing my mother in a car accident when I was 27 taught me that nothing will ever hurt as bad as losing a mother…my mother….my best friend, my hero, my heart.
As I stood before hundreds of people at her funeral sharing the lessons I had learned from her, I learned that I wasn’t the only person whose life she touched, and from the responses, I clearly wasn’t the only one she shared these wise words with:
Never, ever go to bed angry and say I love you every time you hang up the phone or walk out the door…because you never know when it’s going to be the last time.
When the Need becomes greater than the want, there’s a problem.
If everyone put their problems in a circle, they would each take back their own. There is always someone worse off than you so be grateful every day.
Never judge anyone, because you have no idea what their circumstances are.
There’s THREE sides to every story. (His, hers and the truth)
You don’t need to like a person to show them respect.
You don’t have to go to church to have a relationship with God.
Thank God every morning before you get out of bed for a new day….thank Him again before you go to sleep for surviving that day.
Never hate anyone…hatred only breeds more hatred and in the long run, only hurts YOU.
As long as you actually learn from your mistake…it’s not really a mistake.
Always try your best…even if your results aren’t perfect, as long as you try your hardest it will have been worth it.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. You can’t expect someone to treat you better than you treat them.
Never walk out of the house without lipstick. Even if you don’t wear any other makeup, throw some lipstick on, it brings your face to life.
I could go on for days with her wise words of wisdom. The point is that despite all of the horrible things that SHE experienced in life, she always knew there was a meaning to it all, regardless of whether we know the meaning or not . . . She taught me that too.
Being forced to live life after shes gone, I learned that she would never have left this earth had she not felt she taught me everything I needed to learn to survive life, and that I am a survivor.
Regardless of whether the things she taught me were by the words she spoke or actions I witnessed, I feel blessed to have learned what I have from such a wise woman. A woman who was full of love and full of life, and who constantly shared all of that, regardless of what she was going through.
Although I only had 27 years to share with her on this planet, I have continued to learn from her even in the past 6 years that she hasn’t been here with me physically.
The most important thing? Well, although she used to say it all the time, I guess I never fully understood when she used to say that tomorrow is never promised. Because she knew that, because she was the person that she was, she left a legacy, and now I know it’s my turn….. my turn to share all the things that she shared with me. Not only to fulfill her legacy…. But to create my own.
You say it’s your birthday….It’s MY Birthday too!
I’m long overdue for a blog, so I figured today would be a great day to post one.
Today am turned 33 years old, nope, I’m not ashamed, I’m getting older and I’m completely okay with it. Sure I miss some of the old days, when some parts of life were a little easier, and of course I miss the times when my Mother was here. But I’m not one of those people who is ashamed of getting older, or freaking out about it. (Except, of course for the increased number of wrinkles, and gray hairs.)
I have come to realize how my life changes every year. Each year I learn new things, meet new and amazing people, strengthen relationships and grow. How can anyone complain about that?
33 kicked off on Thursday with lunch at Fogo De Chao in Austin, with Kevin & Fred, and it’s still going. Last night was absolutely amazing, with some great friends who love me unconditionally, something I am beyond grateful for. Tonight, I will celebrate with my sister and some friends, and top of the weekend with breakfast with my sisters and my dad. The year can only get better from here. I started school, and am loving it, and I see so much growth opportunity ahead of me. 33 is going to be GREAT!
I think it’s important on birthdays, to be little extra grateful. Grateful to have been thought of by God, and brought to life by your parents. Today I am grateful for SO many things. I am grateful to God for deciding to be bring my soul to earth, and provide me with the best Mother I could ask for, as well as sisters that I would give my life for. I am grateful that my Dad was brought into my life at the age of 5, and loved me through everything. I’m grateful for the friends I have made along the way, especially all those who were brought into my life in the last few years since my Mother died. I often say it, and I wonder if anyone truly knows how true it is, that had I never met Kevin and Fred, I’m not sure that I would be here. They opened my eyes to possibilities in life that I had given up on after my Mom died, that is how I know she had a hand in bringing them to me. There are way too many people to name, but I know they know who they are…they are the only ones I have ever said “I love you” to.
Most importantly I look up to the sky and thank my Mother for bringing me into this world. For giving me all the love she had to give, and some. For protecting me from the things I needed protecting from, and for exposing me to the things I needed to experience in order to grow as a person. I thank her for showing me what unconditional love looks like, and for teaching me how to respect people, and accept people. For risking her life multiple times, just to give me a better one. I love and miss you so much my beautiful Mother.
So yeah, I guess that’s about it. Stop looking at the number of your age, and look at what you have experienced, and accomplished in your life….and the things that you still have left to experience. Be grateful every day for the life you have, and the people in it, because you never know when it’s going to be taken from you.
With gratitude to everyone who has impacted my life in one way or another……and Happy Birthday to me!
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