Sometimes Deep . . . Often Random Thoughts

I was having a brief conversation earlier with a very good friend of mine about the fact that we both have “high expectations of people.”  (We’re both Virgos, so it’s very much a trait of ours naturally).  I’m not going to go all into expectations in general, but I do feel the need to discus expectations of how we are treated. Now, I personally don’t think I do have high expectations of other people, nor do I think I should ever have to lower my expectations (even thought I believe we all tend to all too often) I expect people to be kind to others, honest, straight-forward, respectful, to communicate with me and most importantly do what they say they are going to do. Really, I am an extremely easy person to please, and those little things bring a smile to my face.

For example, I think that someone telling you that they are going to call you means that they should call you, or at least text you.  I don’t think it’s a lot to ask, even for a text to say, hey, I’m really busy, I’ll call you when I can.  That took a whole what, 5 seconds?  People not doing what they say they are going to do has been something that has really bothered me for a long time.  I think it shows a complete lack of respect for the other person.  I do believe that there are absolutely times where things come up.  For example (and this is just an example), you make tentative plans with someone one day around 12:00.   The day comes and you haven’t heard anything, so you send a text, “hey, are we still going to do….(whatever your plans were)?” and they don’t respond.  Uh….HELLO?  The problem here isn’t that the person couldn’t make it, the problem here is that they person couldn’t pick up the phone and call, or text, or send an email, or a facebook message…I mean come on, it’s 2010 there are 500 million ways to communicate with someone, without even having to talk to them.  So that’s a high expectation?  I should lower my expectation, so I get worse results the next time?  I think not!

They say “Expect the worst, and hope for the best.”  I used to do that, and now I worry that if I am expecting bad things, bad things will happen (it’s the whole putting positive things out to the Universe thing), but if I expect people to meet my expectations, and they don’t, I end up hurt.  It’s a huge catch 22.

I think that if you truly respect yourself, you should have high expectations of how people treat you.  If you don’t, you’re settling for less than you deserve.  The trick is having those high expectations, and if someone disappoints, you don’t allow them to do it again.  Settling for less than we deserve is not what we are put on this earth to do, especially when it comes to how people treat us.

By not doing what you say you are going to do is discounting the other person’s feelings, disrespectful of their feelings, and quite honestly showing the person that you think they are unimportant. You are also setting the expectation for that person to think that you are unreliable and that you will probably fail them again…. Especially someone who isn’t very trusting to begin with.  Again, life happens, but that’s what communication is for. It’s one thing to not be able to do something you said you were going to do, it’s just inexcusable to not take the time to tell them you aren’t going to follow through.

There you have it.  I know that I only covered one little thing about the things we expect, but I truly believe that if you begin lowering your expectations of people, people will continue think they have to do less to meet your expectations. That’s just my take on it. . . Do what you say you are going to do, and if you aren’t able, have some respect and tell the other people involved.